TWO GIRLS, ONE COLUMN: Farewell, sophomore year

Hello, readers, and welcome to the final installation of 2G1C for the Spring 2009 semester. We hope that you've been adequately preparing yourselves for the week that is most commonly referred to as "Hell Week." Good luck getting an open computer in any of the labs-particularly Hammer Lab-which temporarily turns into a war zone during finals and midterms, complete with elaborate guerilla tactics used to smuggle in coffee cups and water bottles (We can't believe they don't let you have water. Seriously, guys? It's just water.). Calkins Lab is a better option, but then you have to brave flood, dysentery, and having your caulked wagon flip while killing your entire party of travelers.

For the last article of the semester of our sophomore year, we would like to offer a recap on the past two years of our college career. We're halfway there, and by God what a ride it's been. Let's begin with the train wreck that was first semester freshman year (this paragraph was written with a series of cringes and winces attached). You know, back in the day when you thought that frat parties were actually cool, fun ways to spend your weekend, Edward 40 hands wasn't the most depressing game ever invented and that it was necessary to have a Facebook picture to document every aspect of your collegiate life. Yes, there were some embarrassing moments, not to mention the negligence of our schoolwork. After dropping multiple classes and gaining a good 10 pounds (waffle fries were our friends), we brushed ourselves off, swallowed our (Hofstra) pride and started anew the following semester.

Granted, we both had learned a great deal come February of 2008, but one semester at college isn't enough to teach you the ropes. The sleeping issue became prevalent because we hadn't yet learned that writing papers in a computer lab or library will make you infinitely more productive, and that caffeine is not always your bosom body. Also, immune systems are not to be f***ed with (good thing the swine flu wasn't circulating then.

Sure, we both managed to complete our classes, but not exactly with flying colors. On top of that, a chunk of our friends wound up transferring. Thanks, guys, now we're eating alone in the Student Center. Entering the cafeteria alone is the equivalent of using a roller backpack. So damn cool.

Fast-forward through an unremarkable summer and we've got sophomore year. Most of our friends were gone, but with a sweet new living situation and a newfound vigor for learning, we ripped through first semester sophomore year. "A's" were flying around left and right, and we actually gained the courage to become involved in some of the school activities (from The Chronicle to WRHU). We began to rebuild relationships-ones that were meaningful and long lasting, not ones based around… more unsavory things. As the University would love for us to say, those product-placing bastards, we followed their advice and "find our edge!" This would give us the ground to blossom into this semester, where we finally learned where our place was here at da Hof.

College is tough to begin with, and in some respects it can be seen as a battlefield (maybe Pat Benatar will write a song about it. Someday.) But you are not stuck with the na've decisions you have made for your entire college career. We love college. And we love drinking, as well as women. And, of course, we love college! But we are also able to ignore the booze and ladies and get our schoolwork done and get on the Dean's List. Can't say we have attended any gatherings with people in animal costumes and old women playing cards, but if Asher Roth says those are the gems of college life, we will make it our goal to find them!

There's been transfer applications, tears of hatred, tears of joy (actually, there haven't been any tears of joy, we're not going to lie about that)…but ultimately, we can't see ourselves anywhere else.

So you're stuck, and we're here, too and we're not queer, but some of you are. And that's cool. Love always, T-Pain and whoever also sang in that horrible song "Cyclone." And start sending us e-mails, people! GOSH.

Dani Frank is a sophomore print journalism student. You may e-mail her at dfrank18@pride.hofstra.edu.

Rebecca Astheimer is a sophomore film student. You may e-mail her at rasthe1@pride.hofstra.edu.