2008 Woodie Awards
Everybody's Free (To Wear Converse)
Entertainmentality
in EntertainmentIssue date: 5/12/05
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people that are reckless with yours. Unless it makes you write better lyrics (and it probably does), in which case, make sure you are continuously breaking hearts and being heartbroken.
Floss. Actually, don't. Can you name a rock star with good teeth?
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, no one is still sure whether it's better to burn out or fade away. Either way, it involves a lot of drugs and sex.
Remember good reviews you receive. Discredit the bad ones as being the opinion of some poor critic who's bitter they weren't on your guest list.
Keep your first big paycheck. Throw away fan pictures that aren't nudes.
Stretch. Tour buses and private jets cut off circulation, and you need to be able to do those rockin' pelvic moves.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. That's why you got into rock 'n' roll in the first place.
Get plenty of calcium. Milk tastes great with Bailey's.
Maybe you'll marry an actress, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have kids who will become famous by trading on your last name, maybe you won't. Whatever you do, congratulate yourself too much. You're a rock star. Do it while you've still got a career.
Enjoy your body. Your groupies do. They'll enjoy it even more if you can play several instruments. Guitar is a good place to start. Everyone thinks drummers are stupid and bass is for girls, so pick something a bit more exotic for your second instrument. Maybe piano or even saxophone.
Don't dance. You're a tortured genius.
Don't ask for directions, and don't follow any, either. Getting lost and meeting strangers makes for better interviews and song-writing material.
Don't read Rolling Stone. Unless you're on the cover.
Get to know your parents, then you'll know what to say you've always hated about them.
Floss. Actually, don't. Can you name a rock star with good teeth?
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, no one is still sure whether it's better to burn out or fade away. Either way, it involves a lot of drugs and sex.
Remember good reviews you receive. Discredit the bad ones as being the opinion of some poor critic who's bitter they weren't on your guest list.
Keep your first big paycheck. Throw away fan pictures that aren't nudes.
Stretch. Tour buses and private jets cut off circulation, and you need to be able to do those rockin' pelvic moves.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. That's why you got into rock 'n' roll in the first place.
Get plenty of calcium. Milk tastes great with Bailey's.
Maybe you'll marry an actress, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have kids who will become famous by trading on your last name, maybe you won't. Whatever you do, congratulate yourself too much. You're a rock star. Do it while you've still got a career.
Enjoy your body. Your groupies do. They'll enjoy it even more if you can play several instruments. Guitar is a good place to start. Everyone thinks drummers are stupid and bass is for girls, so pick something a bit more exotic for your second instrument. Maybe piano or even saxophone.
Don't dance. You're a tortured genius.
Don't ask for directions, and don't follow any, either. Getting lost and meeting strangers makes for better interviews and song-writing material.
Don't read Rolling Stone. Unless you're on the cover.
Get to know your parents, then you'll know what to say you've always hated about them.
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